AUGUST IS HAPPINESS HAPPENS MONTH
August as the “Happiness Happens” month has a long history. It all began with The Secret Society of Happy People” who designated August 8, 1999 as “Admit You’re Happy Day”. Not surprisingly it caught on!
August is a month to remind ourselves to be happy as much as we can and in the Pacific Northwest the long days of sunshine can help promote this too!
Happiness is a choice. Remembering happiness does not mean you are problem free. That kind of life does not exist. Much of life is not under our control but one thing we all have control over is the quality of our thoughts. What we focus on matters. This is good news! Noticing the positives in life and cultivating gratitude for them is a first step for pulling us out of a disgruntled mood. Noticing the smallest comforts and conveniences in your environment is always a good start. Supportive friendships are a big plus too!
What are you most grateful for today?
As always, if you have questions, contact
Anatha Atthar, Kinship Navigator: anatha@familyess.org
Behavior is Communication: Looking Beneath the Surface Through a TBRI® Lens
Kin caregivers often say:
“I’ve tried consequences, reminders, and taking things away… but the behaviors keep happening.”
In TBRI®, we learn to look beyond the behavior itself and ask a deeper question:
“What is this child trying to communicate?”
Children who have experienced trauma, loss, separation, or instability may not always have the words to explain what they feel inside. Instead, their nervous systems speak for them.
What looks like:
- Defiance may be fear
- Anger may be overwhelm
- Withdrawal may be sadness
- Control may be anxiety
- “Attention-seeking” may actually be connection-seeking
Behavior is often the outward expression of an unmet need.
Why this matters especially in kinship care:
Many children in kinship homes have experienced disruptions in trust, safety, and predictability. Their behaviors are not always intentional misbehavior — sometimes they are survival responses shaped by earlier experiences.
When caregivers respond with curiosity instead of immediate punishment, children begin to feel safe enough to learn new ways to communicate.
A gentle TBRI reframe:
Instead of asking:
“How do I stop this behavior?”
We might ask:
“What is this child’s nervous system trying to tell me?”
- Small things that help:
- Stay calm and regulated first
- Remember that connection opens the door for correction
- Get low, soft, and connected before correcting
- Use short, nurturing responses
- Watch for patterns around transitions, hunger, fatigue, or stress
- Offer protein snacks (cheese, nuts, yogurt, peanut butter)
- Encourage water throughout the day
- Offer snacks before transitions or stressful times
- Sit together when possible (connection supports regulation)
- Remember to eat and drink
An important reminder for caregivers:
You do not have to be perfect to be healing.
Children learn emotional regulation through relationships. Every calm response, every moment of connection, and every attempt to understand the need beneath the behavior helps build trust and felt safety over time.
The takeaway:
Connection before correction.
When we understand that behavior is communication, we stop seeing children as “giving us a hard time” and begin recognizing that many are simply having a hard time.
And that shift changes everything.
