AUGUST IS HAPPINESS HAPPENS MONTH
August as the “Happiness Happens” month has a long history. It all began with The Secret Society of Happy People” who designated August 8, 1999 as “Admit You’re Happy Day”. Not surprisingly it caught on!
August is a month to remind ourselves to be happy as much as we can and in the Pacific Northwest the long days of sunshine can help promote this too!
Happiness is a choice. Remembering happiness does not mean you are problem free. That kind of life does not exist. Much of life is not under our control but one thing we all have control over is the quality of our thoughts. What we focus on matters. This is good news! Noticing the positives in life and cultivating gratitude for them is a first step for pulling us out of a disgruntled mood. Noticing the smallest comforts and conveniences in your environment is always a good start. Supportive friendships are a big plus too!
What are you most grateful for today?
As always, if you have questions, contact
Anatha Atthar, Kinship Navigator: anatha@familyess.org
Back-to-School: Creating Felt Safety Through Connection and Routine
As summer winds down, many families begin preparing for a new school year. While buying school supplies and organizing schedules are important, children in kinship care often need something even more essential—a sense of felt safety.
For children who have experienced trauma, loss, or significant life changes, the return to school can bring mixed emotions. New teachers, unfamiliar classmates, changing routines, and increased expectations may trigger anxiety or uncertainty. Behaviors such as irritability, withdrawal, defiance, or emotional outbursts are often signs that a child is feeling overwhelmed rather than intentionally misbehaving.
Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®) reminds us that behavior is communication. When children feel connected and safe, they are better able to learn, solve problems, and manage their emotions.
Why School Transitions Can Be Challenging
The beginning of the school year brings many changes, including:
• New routines and earlier mornings
• Separation from trusted caregivers
• New teachers and classmates
• Academic and social expectations
• Sensory overload from busy classrooms and noisy hallways
• Uncertainty about what to expect
Children who have experienced adversity may ask themselves, “Am I safe?” long before they are ready to focus on learning. As caregivers, our role is to help answer that question with our words, actions, and consistent presence.
Creating Predictable Routines
Predictability helps children feel secure. Establishing simple, consistent routines before school starts can reduce anxiety and create confidence.
Consider creating routines for:
• Morning wake-up and breakfast
• Packing backpacks the night before
• After-school snack and quiet time
• Homework
• Bedtime
Visual schedules or checklists can also help children know what comes next, reducing stress and increasing independence.
Connection Before Correction
Stressful mornings can quickly become power struggles. TBRI encourages caregivers to prioritize connection before correction.
Instead of leading with commands, begin with relationship.
Try:
• A warm hug or high-five
• A special morning handshake
• A few minutes of conversation during breakfast
• Words of encouragement before leaving for school
When challenges arise, respond with curiosity rather than immediate correction.
Instead of saying:
“You’re making us late!”
Try:
“It looks like today feels really hard. How can I help you get started?”
Connection helps regulate emotions and often leads to greater cooperation.
Partnering with the School
Teachers and school staff are valuable partners in supporting your child. Consider sharing helpful information about your child’s strengths, regulation needs, and strategies that work well at home.
You might discuss:
• Calming strategies your child responds to
• Sensory supports that are helpful
• Transition difficulties
• Preferred ways to communicate with you
Approaching these conversations collaboratively helps build a team focused on your child’s success.
Practical TBRI Strategies You Can Use Today
Small, intentional moments of connection can make a big difference.
Start the day with connection.
Spend just two to five minutes giving your child your full attention before school.
Support regulation first.
A healthy breakfast, hydration, movement, and adequate sleep all contribute to emotional regulation.
Build in decompression time after school.
Many children work hard to manage expectations throughout the school day. Instead of jumping immediately into homework or chores, allow time to reset with a snack, outdoor play, drawing, music, reading, or another calming activity.
Offer empowering choices.
Giving children appropriate choices helps them feel capable and respected.
Examples include:
• “Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the green one?”
• “Would you like to do homework before or after your snack?”
• “Would you like to walk the dog or help set the table first?”
Family Activity: Create Your Back-to-School Connection Plan
As a family, take a few minutes to create a simple plan for the school year.
Our Daily Connecting Ritual
What is one way we will intentionally connect each day?
________________________________________
Our Morning Regulation Strategy
What will help everyone start the day feeling calm and prepared?
________________________________________
Our After-School Decompression Activity
How will we help everyone recharge before moving into homework or evening routines?
________________________________________
Our Empowering Choice
What is one daily choice we can offer to encourage cooperation and build confidence?
________________________________________
Remember…
A successful school year is about more than grades. It is about helping children feel safe, connected, and supported as they grow.
By creating predictable routines, responding with connection during stressful moments, and partnering with schools, caregivers can help children build resilience and confidence—one day, one routine, and one relationship at a time.
“Connection is the bridge that helps children move from surviving to thriving.”
If you have questions, please contact:
Penny Michel, Kinship Navigator:
pennym@familyess.org
